Lucy

Queer white female/non-binary/gender non-conforming person (18)

Dear future me,

I am currently an anxiety riddled 18 year old trying to get through my very last quarter of high school. I’m worried about making the wrong decisions for my future and I’m scared that my mental health will continue to control my life. And I’m insecure about everything about me. As a queer teenager surrounded by straight people I l constantly find myself feeling very isolated. As I grow up more I can now put into words why I feel so isolated and try to shift things in my life and let go of what might be holding me back. I hope for a lot of things for you. I hope that you don’t dwell on the past or future and are very secure in enjoying the present. I hope that you found friends who you feel you relate to and can rely on and feel safe with. I hope you had the chance to grow into the person who is there deep down and feel free. I hope that you feel beautiful again. I also hope that you have a job you absolutely love. And if not, at least have hobbies that bring you community and joy. I hope that you have cats and cute hair and great clothes. A dream goal that I will manifest for you is that you are surrounded by people who fit what your definition of community is. That those people hold you up as much as you hold them up. Honestly, right now that’s all I hope for you. That you are surrounded by love and community and never have to feel as alone and invisible as I do now. You will find your place in this world and it will be beautiful and you will absolutely love it. Hopefully you are also extremely sexy.

With love,

Me from the past